Sexiness and Cheesy Yoghurts
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: Jackie just wants to be told she's sexy by Robbie while Stuart overdoses on healthy yoghurts that taste like cheese much to Jenny's and his taste buds annoyance
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: First of all, this is basically based off the conversation that we had today in the refectory on our break where my friend was complaining that she wasn't hot whereas her boyfriend's ex really was so it triggered my braincells. The yoghurt is also an issue between her and I. Second of all, this is my hundredth story! Whaaaat?**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone but Jenny and the ex-girlfriend**

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**[Sexiness and Cheesy Yoghurts]**

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"If you buy that yoghurt and complain about it once, I'll shoot you." Jenny warned Stuart as he reached up for the healthy choice yoghurt on the top shelf of the fruit section in the canteen. For the past week they'd been eating in here and every morning Stuart would buy that yoghurt then complain about the flavour – it apparently tasted like mouldy cheese - as he slowly reached the bottom.

The man just laughed as he put it on his tray and looked over at his pretty little redhead detective, "Jenny darling, you don't have a gun yet." He pointed out causing Jenny to look over at Jackie who just smiled.

"I'll happily lend you mine, Jenny." She promised causing Stuart to gasp in horror before they moved round to the cashier where they paid before moving over to their favourite table at the far corner of the canteen. "I don't understand why you're on this stupid diet anyway. You're gorgeous." Jackie pointed out to her best friend as she tucked into her own fruit pot.

"Jackie darling, I'm now engaged to marry Ewan McIntyre. That man doesn't look a day over twenty and yet he's older than me." He took the cap off his yoghurt and looked over at her. "I'm afraid that someone is going to want to know why Ewan is holding his hands with his dad or something!" Both female detectives just rolled their eyes before eating their foods quietly. "I noticed neither of you tried to argue me out of my belief there." He said pointing his plastic spoon at the pair of them before diving back into the pot for another spoonful.

"Would you let us argue you out of it?" Jackie pointed out as she reached over and fed a piece of watermelon into his mouth because she didn't like it but she knew that it was his favourite fruit so she never asked them to hold back on it.

"Everyone wants to hear they're beautiful once or twice, Jackie." He pointed out sarcastically. "And we're not all dating a charmer like Robbie who probably feeds you with so many compliments I'd be tasting this yoghurt twice." The two female detectives groaned at his reference knowing that Stuart was just teasing about vomiting but sometimes his choice of words just made them want to hurl.

Jackie, however, was now blushing at the mention of her relationship with Robbie. It was known between the small group of five that the two senior detectives were dating and had been for a few weeks. They'd wanted to tell them team because they were like their family, neither having actual parents to tell, and their blessing was important to the pair of them. They had asked them to keep it on the "DL" but sometimes Stuart got too excited and always brought it up in conversation. He'd been waiting for them to get together since day one so they didn't really stress at him.

"Stuart, he's not that charming but yes he does tell me that I'm..." her words trailed off as she watched Robbie move into the canteen with a beautiful woman on his arm. She was wearing a tight black dress, her high heels in her hands as she flicked back long blonde hair that washed down her back in luscious waves. The fur coat finished just below her breast line, her make up heavy but not enough to look trashy and she had a laugh that could light up a room. Jackie was also painfully aware of how bright Robbie's smile was. Stuart and Jenny followed her gaze.

"Oh wow, I didn't know little Pippa was back in town." Stuart said absent-mindedly before moving his attention back to his yoghurt that was in his hands because the idea of an attractive girl walking through the building wasn't his cup of tea.

"Pippa?" Jenny asked.

"Robbie's super sexy ex-girlfriend," Jackie commented. "They were pretty damned serious for a pair of fuck buddies as I can remember." She said using her fork to stab a piece of strawberry as she desperately tried to keep her gaze there instead of moving back to Pippa and Robbie together.#

"Wow. She looks like half of Robbie's age,"

"She is." Stuart informed as he looked over at Jenny. "She's really not that special. She has the personality of a cold fish and I think Ronan has a higher intelligence then her."

"Why did they break it off?"

"She got an acting job in America," Jackie whispered because she remembered how devastated Robbie had been when she'd actually gone through with the deal. He'd loved having an actress on his arms but the idea of her being in America rubbing elbows with other famous people had made him realise that he wasn't all that special. He'd slept around a lot after that one before settling into the relationship with Jackie. "Robbie was literally heartbroken over it."

"I don't think she's the serious relationship type," Jenny muttered trying to make Jackie feel a little bit better because she could sense that the woman's mood had deflated since their teasing of Stuart and his yoghurt. "Jackie, he's got you now and you're beautiful."

"What if I don't want to be beautiful?" She asked out loud causing the two detectives to look at her. "I might want to be hot or sexy."

"Jacks," Stuart said before pausing for a moment then looked over at Jenny for a little bit of help in the situation.

"Jackie, you are both of those things and she's only hot because she flaunts what she has. If you took away the short skirts, the fake boobs and the make-up she'd just be some plain Jane!" Jenny pointed out before sighing as she looked over at her best friend. "Jackie, you're one of the hottest women I know. If I was lesbian, I would."

"And if I was straight, Jenny and I would be having a cat fight over who wins." Stuart piped up causing a smile to crack onto Jackie's face as she looked over at him before laughing.

"Well thanks you two but I really want someone else to think I'm hot."

"Show him you are then," Stuart said with a twinkle in his eyes and Jackie knew immediately what was going through his mind which caused her to roll his eyes but that didn't deter him. "Jacks, you're the one that is constantly feel like you're the demure little house wife!" He chided. "You need to show him that you can be the wild little sex kitten too because I bet you can be."

"Stuart!" She gasped knowing that this wasn't the type of conversation she wanted in the canteen over a fruit pot but she knew that her best friend had a point. If she wanted Robbie to call her sexy then she needed for him to see a side of her that he'd never seen before and she smiled causing Stuart to grin. "I'll do it." She whispered before standing up and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. The two other detectives watched as she left before Jenny turned to look at Stuart.

"He's going to be an idiot and tell her something like she looks lovely instead of the term she needs to hear." She said not having any faith in Robbie at all to give Jackie what she needed to hear.

"I know he will. Robbie thinks he speaks women but that was before he met Jackie," he pointed out before eating another bit of his yoghurt and wrinkling up his nose. "Man, this yoghurt tastes like cheese." Jenny groaned before reaching out and snatching it off of him causing the man to laugh.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE: So this is just a little filler chapter before the action really happens. Yes. It's awfully short. I don't know where my imagination bunnies have gone but I do intend on finding them.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters**

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**[Sexiness FAIL]**

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The butterflies were flying around Jackie's stomach that evening as she moved through the bedroom lighting the candles, her breathing slightly faster than normal as she tried to convince herself that she could go through with this. In honesty, Jackie had never felt like a sexy woman. She'd always brushed herself under the title of "Plain Jane" much to everyone's annoyance because they believed that she wasn't. Stuart often said she had the "girl next door" look about her and everyone knows they always turn out to be the ones with the dirty secrets and the sex kitten act hidden away. Jackie had just laughed at him and then changed topic.

But yet, here she was.

She was stood in their bedroom, the lighter flickering in her hand as she wore nothing but a small scrap of lace that hung down her shapely body but yet at the same time it clung to every curve that she possessed and the dark shade of purple lingerie enhanced the pearl white of her skin that Robbie had always adored even before they were a couple. The short brown hair hung around her face in elegant curls as she felt herself wanting to blow out the candles, her heartbeat racing a mile a minute before she just put the lighter away.

Accompanying the piece of lingerie was the latest fashion style of suspender tights, Jenny had dared her to buy a pair for a night out they were going on but Jackie hadn't worn them in the end, along with a stupid pair of high heels that she'd never worn before in fear of breaking her neck. She'd changed the bed sheets to the black silk ones Robbie had bought as a joke when they'd first moved in together, a comment about how her skin would look ravishing against the material, but she'd hidden them on him because she knew how awkward sleeping in silk sheets were.

Hearing the front door open, she took a deep breath before she climbed onto the bed and sat in a position that she believed to be sexy.

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Robbie was surprised to see that the house was in darkness. He'd known that Jackie had left some hours before him without even a goodbye so he'd expected her to be here waiting for him. "Jackie?" He called throwing his keys down on the table at the door before starting to walk through the house heading for the kitchen, his hand reaching up to undo the stupid tie he'd had to wear that day for court.

"I'm in the bedroom," she called and he changed his route before moving through to the bedroom and freezing at the doorway as he spied her lying there on the bed. He shook his head, even blinked twice before smiling. This wasn't something he ever saw Jackie doing. She was a little demure when it came to the antics in the bedroom. He wasn't saying that the sex was bad but it was normal. This... This was heaven for him.

"Well don't you look lovely enough to eat," then he noticed something flickered over her face, her position shrinking as she sat up and laughed. "What's wrong?" He asked as he walked over to sit beside her on the bed, his hand taking her chin so that she would look at him because he genuinely didn't know what he'd done to piss her off this time. She smiled as she tried to pull her face free.

"Robbie, if you don't know now then you'll never know." She whispered slipping her shoes off her feet before grabbing hold of her dress robe. "How's Pippa?" She asked causing Robbie to wince at the venom in her tone of voice but before he could answer she'd already moved into the ensuite bathroom that they shared.

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Looking at herself in the mirror, she felt a lone tear slip down her cheek as she realised that she shouldn't have listened to Stuart. She'd never be sexy. Who was she even trying to kid? A woman of her age, looks and career could never pull off sexy unless said career was a farce for some stripper woman. Reaching for her hairbrush, she let the tears fall as she brushed out the curls that she'd spent ages on perfecting as she heard Robbie walking around the bedroom as if trying to pace out the answer to her problem.

She'd just need to talk to Stuart about it. It wasn't Robbie's fault.

Not really.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: Stuart gets more camp in every story I write... It's so unrealistic but so damned beautiful at the same time! A huge thank you to newyork24-7 for the message reminding me about this story! Here's the next chapter...**

**DISCLAIMER: I only own Jenny.**

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**[Discussing the Disaster]**

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"I wouldn't buy that yoghurt," Jenny warned as she grabbed a roll with a square sausage from the hot breakfast counter as she looked over at Stuart, "I laced them all with arsenic." She said with a bright smile causing Stuart to burst out laughing as he grabbed hold of one of the lemon flavoured ones and winked at her.

"I'll risk it," he teased before watching Jackie storm into the cafeteria, her smile not even forming as she saw the two of them standing together. Instead she just stormed over, her arms wrapping around her chest as she gruffly ordered a coffee and grabbed a fruit bowl from the counter.

"Why the hell are you getting one of those bloody yoghurts?" She snapped angrily as she saw it in his hands. "You don't like them and you don't need to go on a diet because you're beautiful the way you are and if Ewan doesn't see that then you need to rethink the engagement because anyone that doesn't love you for you is completely not worth it." The three observers, the two detectives and the woman working the till, stared at Jackie as she said the spiel and then Stuart turned his head to the side slightly as he looked at her.

"Did you even take a breath then?" He teased lightly not letting her bitchiness effect him because he knew that she would talk about it when they were at their table. "And don't worry. It might be my last yoghurt any way because Detective Scott has apparently laced them all with arsenic so I couldn't even play Russian roulette with them!" He said shrugging his shoulder before handing over the money to pay for his goods then followed Jenny over to their table. Once they were say, they patiently waited for Jackie to come over and sit with him.

She'd been sat for approximately two minutes before she apologised to Stuart for being a bitch. "I did mean what I said but I know that's not the case with Ewan and yourself. Ewan does think you're beautiful but you just feel older and..." at the raise of his eyebrow, she stopped and smiled nervously. "Should I stop before I put my foot in it any more than I possibly have?"

"That would be wonderful," he said leaning over and squeezing her hand. "So come on then, what did he do?" Jackie laughed at how they both immediately knew that it was something Robbie had done that had caused her to be in such a bad mood that morning.

"He called me lovely after all that damned effort I went to to look so bloody..." she stopped talking as money was transferred from Jenny to Stuart causing her to raise her eyebrows. "Is there anything you two wouldn't bet on?" She demanded to know.

"Yeah. I wanted to bet on how long it would last before it came out that Morag's child was actually an alien and she'd been kidnapped by aliens but Detective Scott decided that that was inhumane of me," he joked with a shrug causing Jackie to shake her head as she laughed. It was good to laugh. It felt as if she'd literally cried herself to sleep. "I'm kidding. We bet on everything. It makes the day a little bit more entertaining."

"And basically he likes to steal my money. That's Leigh going without tea tonight." She teased looking over at the male detective.

"I'll buy her a yoghurt," he commented pointing his plastic spoon down at the pot causing the two female detectives to roll their eyes before he grinned as he took a spoonful. "So come on then. Stuart would like to know the lack of juicy details." He teased with a wide grin and Jackie couldn't help but smile. If anyone else was so impersonal, she'd probably punch them but not Stuart. She needed his nosey nature to get her through the days.

"I had it all done perfectly. Make-up, hair, silky smooth legs," Stuart couldn't resist to lean down and run his hands underneath the leg of her trousers. When he stroked the silky smooth skin, he wolf whistled and winked before allowing her to continue, "right down to the skimpy piece of underwear for the idiot to come in and tell me that I looked lovely enough to eat."

"Jacks," the other female detective said looking at her friend, "that's a good compliment for Robbie to say. He didn't technically say that you were lovely. He said you were ravishing." She pointed out.

"Yes but the idiot didn't use his thesaurus and picked the wrong word," Stuart said rolling his eyes as he shook his head. He knew that Robbie was a bit of a plank when it came to understanding Jackie but he didn't think he'd be this much of a fool. "Did you try to talk to him?" Jackie just glared at him.

"And say what exactly?" She snapped. "I saw you in the cafeteria with your gorgeous ex and I got extremely jealous so I decided to prove to you that I was hot too but you blew that up in my face, you insensitive prick." The other two detectives burst out laughing causing her to smile despite how irritable she felt.

"Oh god, I think that would go down a treat!" Stuart teased wiping at his eyes. "It's the wake up call that he needs but maybe, Jacks, that blunt is most definitely the way forward." He pointed out and she was about to comment when an arm wrapped around her shoulder and Robbie sat down on the spare seat between the two girls. The conversation died as the three of them looked at him.

He looked at them all, eyebrows raised. "Why do I have the feeling that you were talking about me?"

"We were just discussing how lovely you are," Stuart said with a straight face but unfortunately neither of the girls could and they snorted into their coffees. Jackie's was most definitely a case of if she didn't laugh she'd burst into tears. "Or maybe it was this yoghurt. Would you like to try some?" He said offering out the spoon and Robbie looked at it suspiciously before taking it into his mouth.

"Good god," he said after swallowing it with a look of disgust on his face, "that tastes like cheese."

"And Jenny also poisoned them with arsenic." He said with a shrug before smiling. "But thanks for agreeing with me that it tastes like cheese and most definitely doesn't taste lovely." He said before standing up and throwing the empty carton into the bin, the two female detectives leaving him sat on his own as they followed Stuart with a look of confusion on his face.

"What the..." he said shaking his head before taking hold of Jackie's unfinished coffee and drinking it.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE: I don't believe I let this story rot, unforgotten in the archive but here it is with some loving! The next chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters**

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**[The Sexiest Woman He Knows]**

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"So are you going to talk to me about what you were discussing this morning?" Robbie asked that night as they sat on the couch, his fingertips playing with her hair as she stared at the T.V screen even though it was an episode of the crime drama that they'd already seen and shrugged her shoulders. When he reached out and took hold of the remote so that he could switch off the T.V, she slowly turned to look at him with a bored expression and he couldn't help but feel slightly hurt that he'd done something to piss her off that much.

"It doesn't matter, Robbie."She said seriously shrugging her shoulders again and starting to stand up but he grabbed hold of her wrist so that she couldn't leave. "Just let me go,"

"No." He said just as seriously and pulled her down so that she was sitting on his lap. "When did we become a couple that couldn't talk to each other?" He demanded to know causing her to sit up and glare at him, the heel of her hand slapping down into his shoulder angrily. How dare he say that when he didn't even have the decency to tell her that he'd be hanging out with his ex-girlfriend at the station.

"Oh I'm sorry," she said finally escaping his grasp and moving to stand in front of the mantle piece as she ran her hand through her hair, "did I miss the conversation where you told me that Pippa was going to be at the police station?"

"Jacks..." He said standing up and attempting to get hold of her but she moved out of his way. "Is that what all this is about?"

"You don't know have a single clue what this is about! I'd be surprised if you knew what THIS is." She shouted back at him as she just laughed down at the floor, her hand hold on to her side so that she couldn't see that it was trembling.

"I do know what this is, Jacks." He said moving over to her and grabbing hold of her shoulders before she had the chance to move away again. "This is you being extremely jealous and worried about me leaving you for someone else but I swear that I wouldn't ever leave you because I love you."She just looked at him before growling slightly. "But Jacks, you should know that you're going to end up walking into some of my..."

"Yes." She snapped. "I am well aware that there is an ex of yours around every bloody corner, Robbie. I just don't appreciate the fact that one of your sexiest ex-girlfriends is being paraded in front of me at my place of work. It makes me feel ugly and dowdy when all I want to be is..."She stopped talking as she looked away from him, tears close to falling as she shook her head. "You know what, it really doesn't matter. I'll just shut up and..."

"That's what you're afraid of, isn't it?" He said grabbing hold of her wrist as she moved away from him and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"You know what, I'm going to bed." She said starting to move towards their bedroom but before she could close the door on him, he had his foot in the way and had his arms wrapped around her middle so that she couldn't move away from him.

"Jacqueline Reid," he said knowing how much she hated it when he called her that, "you wouldn't be planning on going to bed when we have finished our argument when that is another thing we said we'd never do?"She closed her eyes as she remembered the first time they'd gone to sleep during a fight and it had been the worst night ever so they'd agreed never to sleep on an argument again.

"I just don't want this argument to happen. Forget it happened. Okay?"

"No. I wont." He snapped pushing them into the room before pinning her against the bedroom door, his hands tight in her hair so that she would look at him and his thigh situated between her two legs. "There is no way I'm going to bed with the woman that I believe thinking that she's ugly and dowdy..."

"Why even bother..."

"especially," he continued glaring at her, "seeing as she's the sexiest woman to ever enter my life and the only one that still surprises me," he finished off before rubbing against her slightly. "Jackie, you're the only woman that could argue with me and I'd want to rip their clothes off so I could ravish them. The only woman that could pull of a shapeless suit and leave me sat at my desk sporting the most painful erection. The only woman I know that could go to the gym in an over sized shirt, a pair of baggy shorts and covered in sweat but make my thoughts turn to how much sweatier you'd get if we were wrestling against each other against the mat in the gym..." She whimpered against him as he took hold of her breast with his free hand and squeezed it, gently at first but getting firmer when he pressed his lips against hers.

Her hand rested against his shoulder, her lips fighting his with the same passion as she let his words hit her. Robbie Ross thought she was sexy in her own way. She didn't need her to dress up in mini skirts, little tee shirts or stiletto heels. She should have listened to Stuart and Jenny in the first place when they'd said that Robbie loved her no matter what. Breaking away from the kiss, she smiled at him as she ran her hands through his brown hair.

"I love you,"she whispered as he moved his hands to grab hold of her backside so that her legs were wrapped around his waist as he moved them towards their bed and put her down against the mattress, his lips pressing against hers again.

"I love you too, my oh so sexy girlfriend," she burst out laughing because it was obvious that he was now taking the piss out of her by using the phrase sexy in the sentence before wrapping her arms around his neck as she moved her hips so that she was innocently rubbing against him. He growled at her, his lips attaching to her neck as she gasped at him.

"Why don't you show me how sexy I am," she challenged and it didn't long before Robbie had her ripped from her clothes, his mouth pressing tender caresses along every inch of her body causing her to gasp his name and wriggle on the bed, a smile on her face as he pressed a kiss to the top of her right thigh before biting down hard against the flesh which left her squealing his name.

Looking up, Robbie decided that this was when he found her most beautiful. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat, her hair covering her face as she breathed heavily, her hands were tight around the bed sheets as a warm blush coloured her usually ivory white skin. Teasing a finger into her, he reached up and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Do you believe me yet?"

"No," she started to say but when the finger moved inside of her, she screamed "yes"at the top of her voice before glaring at him as the fingers stopped moving. "You're a..." the fingers started moving again causing her to focus on her breathing again, his name being panted out as she moved against the bedsheets causing him to smile as he licked up the column of her neck. "Robbie," she growled pushing against his shoulders so that he was now lying flat on her back before she straddled him, her hands braced against his chest as she lowered herself onto him.

"Jackie," he growled against her chest as they sat up moving against each other, their arms wrapped around each other as he pressed kisses to the spot beneath her ear and whispered sweet nothings causing her to smile against him as she felt the familiar knot in her stomach.

"Robbie,"she called out as she arched backwards, her orgasm tippling over as she screamed his name causing her muscles to tighten around him so that his release wasn't long after her. Once they were recovered, he laid her down on the bed and pressed a kiss to her lips before running his fingertips down her body.

"You are extremely sexy, Jackie Reid and if you ever feel insecure again please let me know because that was hot," he admitted causing her to laugh as she wrapped her arms around him and gathered him close as she started to fall asleep against him. He just smiled and followed her into the peaceful slumber.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


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